...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
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i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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