Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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