Someone shit on the floor
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize