he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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