I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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