Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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