last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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