i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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