I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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