Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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