I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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