Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
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Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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