i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize