I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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