I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize