I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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