I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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