yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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