yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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