Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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