The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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