Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail

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  (269): Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail http://tfl.nu/mrce
  Replies (8) Good night (3311) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7

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  (209): He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7 http://tfl.nu/6n0p
  Replies (7) Good night (3554) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

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  (410): It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force. http://tfl.nu/y0by
  Replies (44) Good night (3464) Bad night (1745) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis

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  (781): Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis http://tfl.nu/4nxt
  Replies (22) Good night (3711) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.

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  (360): Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/jop2
  Replies (23) Good night (6513) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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  (240): boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill http://tfl.nu/6vp9
  Replies (148) Good night (3415) Bad night (12212) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.

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  (812): These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now. http://tfl.nu/s4lf
  Replies (7) Good night (948) Bad night (2610) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We stopped her at 12

  (708): View more from Illinois

  12 shots? Or 12 midnight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Which answer would freak you out less

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  (630): We stopped her at 12 (708): 12 shots? Or 12 midnight? (630): Which answer would freak you out less http://tfl.nu/edb4
  Replies (5) Good night (5559) Bad night (773)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

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  (203): There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper. http://tfl.nu/r5h8
  Replies (11) Good night (2977) Bad night (1699) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.

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  (864): I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized. http://tfl.nu/3fi2
  Replies (7) Good night (1400) Bad night (2543) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.

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  (978): I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call. http://tfl.nu/ftpa
  Replies (18) Good night (2388) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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  (818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4027) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.

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  (218): You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears. http://tfl.nu/cuw5
  Replies (24) Good night (4050) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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  (303): You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories. http://tfl.nu/6f6h
  Replies (15) Good night (1589) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  How was it playing wingman?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed

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  (847): How was it playing wingman? (312): I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed http://tfl.nu/t31c
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (340)

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