I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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