He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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