I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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