I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize