Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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