I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you win again, gameday.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize