Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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