you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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