new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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