8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize