can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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