i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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