i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize