Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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