this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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