Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize