Grow some girl-balls and come out already
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize