so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i will never coherently bang her
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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