just come out here and I will go home with you...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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