he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize