Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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