Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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