I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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