Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize