I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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