Im at strip club and am horny
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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