Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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