i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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